


Get a Load of This Train wreck (His Hair's a Mess and he Dosn't Know Who He is Yet)

by HotPocketsAreLife



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Extreme dysphoria, I really like the self sacrifice trope, M/M, More tags later, Pro monster reader, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader has the cyan SOUL (Patience), Reader is a trans male, Reader uses a binder, Trans Male Character, a lot of rascists, and hates showering, but who isnt tbh, cause he does, did i mention that reader needs a break?, do people even read undertale fanfics anymore?, frisk uses they/them pronouns, pre T, pre everything, reader enjoys monster, reader is tired of entitled ass hats, reader needs a break, so that will be overused in this, whatver
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22639135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotPocketsAreLife/pseuds/HotPocketsAreLife
Summary: You, a trans male, decide that you had enough of your bully of a mother and hightail it out of there, landing in a warm bar, you have your first run in with Frisk and Sans. After feeding Frisk and giving them back to their monster guardian, you head out to find a place to sleep. What kind of other people will you run into? Bigoted idiots or kind monsters? I guess you'll have to find out, but whoever it is, you'll have Patience no matter what.
Relationships: Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

"How are you sure though?" Your mother asked in that false polite tone she always used. You frowned, mainly because you both had had this conversation already.   
"Mom, for the last time, being trans isn't a choice. I was sure for as long as I've lived." You tell her, earning another one of her strained smiles. She stood up and took a few steps towards you, her high heels clacking against the tiled floors of the kitchen.  
"Oh, but you're still so young. You shouldn't be making these decisions." She said as if it were obvious. You groaned, she had always deemed you incapable of making your own decisions; and you probably always will be.  
"Mom! I'm 19 for God's sake! Stop treating me like a child, and just treat me like your son." You practically beg. She scoffs and pats your shoulder. You felt tempted to shrug it off, but you stayed, forced to make eye contact with her makeup heavy face. You wonder how she could even hold her head up with all of it on without a brace.  
"How can I when I said that you'd always be my little girl?" She says smugly, to which you just roll your eyes. She always brought it up just to mess with you, but this time you were through. This time, you shrugged her hand off and stepped back.  
"Mom, if you can't treat me like your son, then I can't live here with you anymore." You had rehearsed this before even coming downstairs this morning; your bags were packed and everything. Your mom looked shocked as you went to get your bags, but you ignored her. She only began to react when you were halfway out the door.  
"Where will you go?" She asked, following to the living room. You look down at your bags. You hadn't exactly thought that far ahead, but you knew you'd find somewhere to stay.  
"None of your business. Just know it'll be far away from this place." You say instead. She didn't have to know, so you weren't gonna tell her. Her shock quickly turned to anger as she began yelling.  
"Fine! See if I care, you tranny!" She shrieked, causing you to flinch. As awful as your mother is, she never used slurs against you like that. She hit your bicep- not as hard as she could, probably in fear of breaking a nail- and shoved you away. The pain that resonated in your arm didn't even compare to the mental pain you felt. You felt your sorrow being pushed aside by anger and a little bit of tiredness, but you didn't want to inflict pain on your own mother- you had standards, and you didn't want her to sue you- so you walked to your car as she continued to yell at you. It was drawing a lot of attention, but you didn't care. You stuffed your suitcases into the back of your small car. You wave to her before you get in. The red on her face is more bright than the lathered highlighter on it.  
"Bye, mom…" You say softly, most likely not making it to her ears, as she was still screaming at you. You sigh and glide into the seat before sticking the key into the ignition and starting it. You gave you mom one last glance- she was flipping you off and shouting about how you weren't allowed there anymore. You shake your head and started driving away from the place you had called home for 19 years of your life.  
After you got to the second town over, you stopped at a comfy looking bar. It wasn't too late so you didn't think any creeps would be there, and it wasn't like you were old enough to drink any of the beverages in there, you just needed a place to cool down.  
It was only as you walked in when you noticed something was off. A wide visaret of people and monsters littered the area. You almost smacked your forehead; you couldn't believe you forgot monsters made it to the surface. You quickly regain your composure and practically glide to a seat right at the bar. A monster made of fire greeted you with a crackle- which you assumed was asking you what you wanted.  
"Maybe some water?" You say before thinking. You flinch at your mistake. "A-ah, um… er…. Never mind on the water, I uh, hate the stuff? I'll just take some fries." You reassess yourself, almost sagging into the stool you sat on. You crossed your arms on the bar and sat your head across them, sort of soaking in the 'home' feeling the place was giving off; you were never really exposed to this feeling. Most people would likely call it contentedness, but you knew you weren't there yet. It was more like a nice warm blanket of false security. Suddenly there were fries in front of you. You looked up at the monster, Grillby, you think, since it was the name of the establishment. He crackled to you, seemingly telling you to enjoy and you nodded before grabbing a fry and nibbling on it. You hadn't exactly had an appetite since the conflict with your mom. You sighed, suddenly feeling extremely tired. You had enough money to stay at some crappy motel for a few weeks. Now that you thought about it, you probably shouldn't've came into this bar, as you shouldn't waste any money. You groan into your hands- still holding the fry, forgotten between your fingers, perched like a cigarette.   
Suddenly something tugged on your shirt, and whilst holding back a flinch, you peer down your stool to see a small child with a striped shirt on looking up at you.  
"Umm… yeah? What's up, kid?" You say, hiding your shock of seeing a child in a bar. They move their hands in a curious fashion- curious for you, I mean- you had a small idea of what they meant. You had learned a small amount of it in middle school, when you were denying the trans part of you, thinking if you tried different things, the urge to be the opposite gender would stop(spoiler alert: it didn't).   
*Can I sit here? Is what you could translate. You nod, not really seeing anything wrong with them sitting with you. You take the forgotten fry, now cold in your hand, and put it on a stray napkin, feeling like you lost your already nonexistent appetite. You look towards the kid, who was just swinging their feet around and looking at their hands which were sitting comfortably in their lap.  
"So, uh, not to sound like a creep, but umm, where are your parents?" You ask, trying to make the most out of this somewhat awkward situation. They look up at you and bring their hands up.  
*I lost… of them… don't know… they went. You think you could fill in some of the blanks. So they're lost and they wondered into some bar. Not a good idea you think personally but you probably would've done the same.  
"Do you need help finding them?" You ask, before realizing how awful that really sounded. "That sounded bad, huh? Uh, I don't even have a place to stay, so it's not like I could kidnap you, unless I just stuffed you in my car, which probably wouldn't work either because it's full of my things, and- I'm just digging a deeper hole, right? I'll stop." You say all in one breath. They give you a silent laugh and patted your shoulder.  
*My… comes here a lot… so he… be here soon. You sit there for a second, processing their statement.  
"Oh," You say dumbly. "So you're waiting on someone?" You ask, getting a nod before they look down again. You study them for a second before looking back at your fries. Looking at your food, you asked yourself when they last ate. You glances at them one more time before sliding your still slightly warm fries in front of them. They looked up, surprised. You shrug at them. "I'm not too hungry myself, but I could hear something growling, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't those dogs over there." You joke, pointing your thumb to the dogs playing poker a ways away from the two of you. They smile at you before beginning to eat your fries. You make a face, thinking about how dry the fries would make their mouth.  
"Hey, Mr. Grillby," You call over to him. He crackles your way, confused. "Can I get a milkshake, maybe? Do you have those? A medium will be fine." You say before he goes to the back room for a few minutes. The kid looks at you, trying to hide their hope that it would be for them. You look back toward the room Grillby disappeared behind, hiding the small smile that bloomed on your face. He soon returned with a vanilla milkshake and set it in front of you. You say your thanks before sliding it over to the small kid. They smiled and took it with a toothy grin.   
"A gift to… y'know, sugar you up before you go home. So you can teach your guardian to take better care of you." You smiled as they took a few sips while eating the fries. It was a little late for sugar, but who cares if it made them happy. "Hey, so what's your name anyway?" You ask. You hadn't really thought about it, but you're a little curious. They swallowed and moved their hands to form each letter.  
*F-R-I-S-K Their hands spell out. Your smile widened slightly.  
"A cool name for a cool kid. Nice to meet you Frisk, I'm ____." You tell them. They test the name out with their hands and smile, you assumed they liked the feel of it.   
It took awhile for them to finish the food you got them, but you were patient, as you were with everything, even your mom. A jingle from the door indicated someone was entering the bar, but it didn't really mean anything to you, but you, being the paranoid person you are, glanced back anyway. Seeing a short skeleton didn't phase you too much, but seeing how tired he looked caused you to face sideways in your seat, observing him.  
"What's gotten under his skin?" You joke quietly to yourself, but frisk seemed to hear you and look in the same direction as you. When they saw the skeleton, the shot up, suddenly running up to him. You sat there for a second. 'Oh.' You thought. 'That must be the person they were waiting on.' You shrug and turn around again. Back to being alone, you decide, but, once again, there was a tugging at your shirt. You look down to see Frisk with the skeleton, who just looked confused. Frisk turned to him and signed something, hopefully an explanation. He looked surprised as they continued moving their hands and while you sat there awkwardly. He looked up at you and smiled.  
"so," He said in a deep voice you weren't prepared for, causing you to blush. "You took care of the kid while they waited?" He asked, seemingly not even opening his mouth. You just nod, the words being caught in your throat. "well, im sans, sans the skeleton." He held out his hand for a handshake, you suppose. You reach for his hand, praying he wouldn't be able to feel your slightly sweaty palms. "i owe you one," He laughs. "i lose sight of the kid for a second and i lose em for the rest of the day, so thanks for feeding them." He thanks you again, and you shake your head.  
"I-it's fine." You assure him. "I just gave them my fries and got them a milkshake." You told him. He nodded and pulled out his wallet. You flinch slightly as he goes to hand you the amount for the food. You're a little shocked, but you try to politely decline.  
"come on. just take it." He says, shoving his hand toward you. You put your hand on his and pushed it back towards him. "i owe you. a lot more than this, just let me pay you for some of the trouble." He pleads. You simply smile.  
"It's cool. I get what it feels like to feel like you owe someone something, but listen, I did it because I wanted to, and because I needed to. You shouldn't owe me anything." You say simply, standing up from your seat. He took a step back. You give him a pat on the head before heading toward the door, giving the two shocked people a wave before stepping out into the cold and to your car. You had to find a small motel before you freeze your ears off.  
Getting into the car, you sigh, leaning back into your firm seat, bringing your hands up to your face. All the things that happened today flooding back and making you even more tired. When you bring your hands down you look into the rearview mirror, seeing your tired eyes look back at you.   
'Despite everything, it's still you…' You think, suddenly full of… something you couldn't explain, but it made you feel better. Like you could suddenly wait a whole eternity for a better future. Patience, your mind supplies helpfully.  
"Patience, huh?" You mumble, closing your eyes as you huff out a laugh. "Funny." Is all you say (though you didn't really find it  
humorous in any particular way), sitting up-with your eyes open now- and starting the car with a low revving sound.   
You pat the wheel as you drive around, looking for a small motel. Nothing so far, but you did come across a small inn and it looked comfortable, at least until you can find a cheaper place to stay, or maybe until you get a job. You parked in front of it and walked to the door, gently opening it. There was a small, maybe 4'10, bunny manning the front desk. You walked up to it and asked how much it would be to stay the night.  
"It's 80g to stay for a night." She said with a sweet smile. You frowned though. 80g? How much was that for your currency? She seemed to notice you were confused and she quickly corrected herself. "Oh, geez, I'm sorry, dear. I forgot you humans didn't have a lot of gold," She laughed. You winced at the term of 'you humans', but nonetheless you were still shocked about the gold part. 80 pieces of gold? Where are you supposed to find that at this hour? "It would probably be the equivalent to 120 dollars." She said, still giggling quietly to herself.   
"Oh…" You say dumbly. "120 bucks? I can do that." You tell her, pulling out your wallet and pulling out a few bills. What can you say? You were prepared for this. She smiled as you handed her the money and she handed you a small key for the room.  
"Your room should be the 2nd one to the left." She informs you as you make your way up the stairs. You give her a 'thanks' as you drag your feet to the room.   
"Shower or bed?" You ask yourself, looking from the bed to the bathroom door. "I'll shower tomorrow…" You mumble as you practically face plant into the fresh sheets of the bed. Sleep overtakes you as soon as you close your eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bunny hugs and over described gender dysphoria
> 
> (Also, this is lowkey short, sorry.)

Waking up to yelling wasn't anything new to you, but when you realize you aren't in your old home, you think it odd. It seemed to be a whole group of people, maybe 12 or so, but you aren't sure, so you decide to go see what the commotion is. You shimmy out of your bed and shove on the shirt you took off. Your face itches where a small amount of scruff grew, and you scratched it as you sort of peek out your rooms door. Nothing in the hallway, so it had to be coming out of the lobby, or maybe outside. You walk to the lobby, seeing the front desk lady quivering, silently waiting for the shouts to stop.  
"Umm, are you ok?" You ask her softly, but loud enough so she can hear. She looks up and smiles nervously at you.  
"Oh, yes. It's some monster protesters, but it's ok. They've been doing this all week, but surely they're getting tired of it." She tells you. "Hopefully they'll stop soon." Her words were laced with a small amount of hope. You knew the feeling; when your mom came home with a bad mood, she would yell for the smallest thing, but you knew that this was different. These were racists. You were suddenly filled with the need to help this poor lady out, so you walked towards the door and opened it, the bunny lady following. The crowd quiets and you look at them with slightly tired eyes.  
"Can I help you people with something?" You ask, shifting to the other foot. The leader (at least that's what they seemed to be) stepped up with a scowl.  
"What are you doing staying in an establishment like this." She shouted. At your confused face she elaborated. "This is a monster founded inn!" She told you like it was the end of the world, shooting glares at the bunny woman. You furrowed your eyebrows.  
"So?" Was all you said. She stammered on her shock and repeated you.   
"So?!" She shrieked, causing you to flinch slightly. "They're monsters!" She told you, gesturing to the woman that stood to your left, as if it were obvious.  
"Cool." Is all you replied with. "Well, maybe you'd like to leave?" You ask, leaning on the door frame. There were a lot of 'no's' and 'get out of the way's, but you didn't move.  
"Listen, I was having a good sleep." You tell them. "I'd like to get back to that." The lady decided that it was a good time to take a swing at the inn keeper, but you side stepped in front of her and grabbed her wrist.  
"Listen lady," You say darkly. "I don't care who you are, if you land a single finger on a defenseless monster, I'll either call the cops or deal with it myself, and you don't want to see me take care of it." You say, your voice deepening with each word.  
"A-are you threatening me?" The lady stammered out with wide eyes. You smirk at her and lean in.  
"Dunno," You chuckle with no humor in it. "Wanna find out?" You ask, dropping her hand. She backed away, before starting to run. Everyone else slowly dispersed. You turn to look at the small bunny woman that was still shaking.   
"Are you ok?" You ask, softly this time. She looked up at you with sparkling eyes, as if she was about to cry, but before you could do anything, she was hugging you. Hugs from bunny monsters, you have to say, were now your favorite thing.   
"Thank you!" She cheered, still hugging you. You give her an awkward pat and a small smile. "No human has ever stood up for us before." She says, pulling away and looking up at you.   
"It was nothing, really." You say nervously, as you think about her words. 'Never?' You think to yourself.  
"It means everything to me though." She informs you, grabbing your hands in her tiny paws, certainly making you feel better about your smaller-than-most-guys hands, and not to mention more feminine hands. "Please, let me take care of your apartment bill." She says sweetly. You were about to agree, before you fully processed her words.  
"No way I could let you do that." You tell her, still a little shocked. She shook her head.  
"It would be my pleasure though, Sir," She pleaded. "To show my gratitude." You didn't want to argue with the small monster, but you really couldn't let her give you a room for free.  
"Listen, ma'am, I defended you because it waa the right thing to do, and because I wanted to. There's no way I could debt you to that." You tell her, trying desperately to get her to let you pay for your stay-which is something you never thought you'd give up, but you didn't want to just abuse her kindness because you made her feel obligated to give it to you. She looked a little disappointed that you felt so against a free stay.  
"Well…" She hesitated as she thought of an alternative, before brightening intensely. "I'll treat you to a cinnamon bunny that my sister makes!" She tells you, her wide smile making her chubby looking cheeks puff even more. You give in to that suggestion- you had just woken up after all, and you hadn't had breakfast.  
"That… sounds pretty good actually. I'll take you up on the offer." You smile as she hops excitedly. "Just, uh, let me shower first." You laugh as she agrees a little too much.

Showers were your least favorite thing, and you usually end up prolonging it as long as you could, but out of everything you did bring with you, dry shampoo wasn't one of them. You sighed as you pulled your binder off with an especially hard tug while the water began to turn hot. Your chest felt a lot heavier than it did before, but you ignored it as you clambered into the shower. You grabbed your AXE shampoo and took a small amount into your hand, trying to keep your focus on it and not on you. After rinsing out the shampoo, you did conditioner, again, forcing you to put all of your attention on washing your hair and not the way the water trailed over your more despicable parts.  
The body wash stage was the worst part of showering by far. You lathered your luffa with body wash and began rubbing at your collar bones. Your hands shook as they sloped at your breasts and you quickly scrubbed at them as hard as you could, trying to get them out of the way. You sighed, and it wavered from a chuckle to a sob, you didn't usually cry while showering, but with everything that's piled up, you feel like you deserve it somehow. Your tears mixed with the warm stream of water as you washed down your hips and your unshaven legs.   
You turn the water off as soon as you're sure there aren't any soap suds still stuck on you. Taking a shaky breath, you dried yourself, and shoved your binder back on. You knew you should give yourself some time to really breath, but you think you'd rather not breath than feel like you should rip your whole chest off which seemed very tempting at the moment. You pulled on some pants over your boxers. You practically scoff at your lower region. Why scoff? Why would that be your first reaction? You didn't really know, but you hated that part too. You've never even touched it- or let anyone touch it either. Your old boyfriend, who was aware that you were trans, was very forceful that you let him since he was your boyfriend and ' you should just let him because he'd make you feel good.'... Yeah, not even close Brad. It'd make you feel worse, if you ask me. You broke up with him immediately after that, because he shouldn't force himself on people, especially people that are unwilling.  
You eased into your thick hoodie, it was green, because, in your opinion, it's the most manly color and you needed to feel a little more masculine at the moment.  
"Took you long enough, slowpoke." The bunny woman teased as you finally descended from the top of the stairs. You smiled awkwardly, inwardly hoping that your eyes weren't too red.  
"Sorry, I couldn't decide what to wear." You tell her. She nodded and waved you to her as she stood patiently. She grabbed your hand when you got to her and she pulled you out of the inn.  
"Uh, w-where's your sister's shop?" You ask, trying to get out of her grasp. She stopped after taking a few steps down the sidewalk, making you nearly bump into her. "Wha-" You started before being interrupted.  
"Right here!" She announces, before pulling you in the store. You just simply follow, not like you had a choice, you weren't exactly one to say no to a nice person.  
"Hey, Ellie." Another bunny greets, with a southern accent. Did they have different accents underground? "Who's this?" She asked, eyeing you up politely- or, as politely as you can while eyeing someone up. You blush and introduce yourself.  
"Hmm, a cute name for a cute guy." She says as if it were as simple as putting butter on toast (I mean the decision to put butter on toast. Putting butter on toast is hard as fuck.), causing you to blush a little more. It wasn't like you looked like you were a scrawny pubescent twelve year old. You worked hard to feel even a little more confident in your body, which included eating better and working out. You weren't exactly a buff person, but you wouldn't say you were weak.  
"Anna, leave the poor guy alone." Ellie, the innkeepers name that you just learned, defended you, to which you just smiled. "We're here for some cinnabuns." She tells her sister, who just chuckled at her and nodded. Anna reached under the counter and brought up two cinnamon buns.   
"That all sweetie?" Anna asked, handing them over to you while Ellie paid. You just nod, not really wanting her to pay for anything else.   
After eating the cinnabuns on the sidewalk Ellie left you to get back to work and leave you to your day. You did need to go job hunting, but that should be easy… right?


End file.
